fresh off the boat

This past month, I’ve been struggling so much with feeling like an outsider. I got to work on a farm for several days and was confronted with blatantly open racism. And as much as I have been trying hard to shake it off, it has been haunting me for the weeks following my placement. Then on friday, my friend casually comment on the fact that my accent. Which though I normally let slide, stayed with me. I’ve been mulling over my accent for there after and haven’t been able to move on. 

I guess after being in Australia for 10 years it was only a matter of time before I am confronted with racism. Everybody is obviously entitled to their own opinions but what do you stand by your convictions when your words pierce and maim others? 

At this point, I’m still hurting from all the things that were said. Yet, completely thankful for those who were a source of comfort. Those to sat with me and heard me cry. I am thankful for those who though could not empathise, sympathised.

A friend reminded me that even though it feels like I don’t belong anywhere, my citizenship isn’t here on earth at all but in heaven. I have a God who made the ultimate sacrifice to bring an outsider like me into his kingdom. Unworthy as I am, he sought after me to bring me in. And as much as I’m feeling so entirely bad about my earthly citizenship, these feelings shall pass.

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