the worst

Ask any of my family and friends, I’ve dealt with pretty mean people in my life. Not joking, not an exaggeration. These past 2 days I had to deal with a man who was in all honesty such a huge jerk, I’m not sure whether there is anyone else as bad as him. Dealing with him took all of my patience not to start yelling and screaming and crying. Every single conversation with completely painful.

After two hours of negotiations (of which most were held in the rain), he accepted my compromised terms. What was strange was that it wasn’t any tactic that I learnt in uni that made him agree but the reminder that God loves us and commands us to love our neighbours. Which made me think about forgiveness and the parable of unmerciful servant. How often I forget how much God has forgiven me. How Jesus suffered the separation of the father to unite us with him. I struggle so often with unforgiveness. There are many people in my life, I do not know how to forgive. Time and time again, their names pop up and I am immediately riddled with both anger and fear. I am exactly like the unmerciful servant. Being forgiven so much an amount I can never repay and yet I cannot even squeeze out a sliver of forgiveness and mercy for someone who has wronged me in such a small way comparatively.

Today, I have a choice the way I see it. I can hate this man and despise the way he has treated me, but what does that do? God has loved me so much and forgiven me, I can only pray that he teaches me how to be love and forgive my neighbour just as much.

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One thought on “the worst

  1. Pingback: Lomax and Nagase | Microhaemorrhages

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